Smart Teenager: The Ultimate Oxymoron

...I knew that it was going to happen.

I've got to say that I'm officially the biggest keener on the planet. For the last four weeks, I've spent an insane amount of time running around organizing everything, from which textbooks I need to orientation. By August 5th, I'd done just about everything I could think of.

And, University starts in a month.

I've got to say, I feel insanely cool.

I certainly seem to die on the internets a lot.

I was nominated for Valedictorian.

I have absolutely no idea how that happened.

...yay?

It's official.

I'm the most arrogant ass on the planet.

Why, you may ask?

( Well... )

...I'll just not type any more...

Me: Hi there! What can I get for you?
Customer: I'll have a Grande Cinnamon Douche Latte.
Me: ...I beg your pardon?
Customer: A Grande Cinnamon Douche Latte!
Me: ::tries not to laugh and fails because I'm secretly twelve::

And to think that back in November I wanted to quit my job.

In what universe did I think that taking AP Calculus was a brilliant idea?

I decided to do the countdown thing on the PW community. Because, I really just want to put off doing calculus and figuring out dinner plans for my friends and I. Notice how I’m trying to make it sound like I have a life.

How noble of me.

( Can I get any cooler? I think not. )

It was probably the best class I've had in a while. Apart from the fact that I had all my friends in it, the teacher was pure awesome.

Besides, we always were able to have such fine and stimulating intellectual conversations, like the following:

Me: So, you read "The Picture of Dorian Gray?"
Nolan: Yes.
Me: How was all that homoerotic subtext for you?
Nolan: ...There was none. He liked a girl.
Me: WTF?!
Nolan: ...what? He did like a girl.
Me: But... the subtext! How could you not see it?! Oscar Wilde is FAMOUS for that sort of thing!
Nolan: Why do you see homoerotic subtext in EVERYTHING?!
My English Teacher: ::is passing by::
Me: Mr. Freeborn, did "The Picture of Dorian Gray" have homoerotic subtext? Nolan said it didn't.
My English Teacher: ...Nolan is completely wrong.

And...

Dani: ...I feel really bad in saying this, but I think Horatio was gay for Hamlet.
Everyone except Nolan: I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING.
Nolan: ...Wtf guys? I don't get it.
My English Teacher: Nolan, I think you need to invest in some new gaydar.

Pwnd, Nolan. Pwnd.

I like how we're all secretly twelve inside. But, he was sort of right. I do sort of see homoerotic subtext in everything.

Why I do however is another story to be told another time.

I am probably the single most boring person on the planet.

What happened to you, Dramatic Moron Me of olde?

Otherwise known as: Clearly I had too much time on my hands this exam break.

Lost and Won

Author: Kalan
Characters/Pairings: Phoenix Wright with some implications of Phoenix/Edgeworth
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2713
Summary: What sacrifices would you make for a friend? Phoenix comes to an epiphany in his second year of university thanks to a Shakespearian tragedy and a newspaper article about a certain childhood friend. Spoilers for 1:4.
Note: I was somewhat surprised that no one had really written anything about Phoenix back in college. So, here’s a little something. I wanted to go for a more serious tone and some introspectiveness, but that kind of backfired on me. I’m still pretty happy with how it turned out, though. The title is taken from a reoccurring line in “Macbeth”.

( What's done cannot be undone. )

Once again, this was x-posted at gyakuten_saiban

Probably more aptly titled: ZOMFG. I live.

It's been a while since I've actually blogged anything. Last year, I had all these grandiose plans of blogging my little heart out and having everyone bow down before me in all my awesomeness.

But, that fell through in light of real life.

( Oh wow... )

And, that is the tl;dr version of my year (sort of) off the internets.

It's been a while. But, anyways, I decided that I'd write a little something... So, here it is!

Bloodsucking Lawyers and Miraculous Beverages

Characters: Diego Armando and Gregory Edgeworth
Author: Kalan
Rating: G
Warnings: Nothing at all.
Word Count: 1186
Summary: When you’re hopelessly lost, the last thing you want to do is to run into a bloodsucking fiend. Originally written for the Kink Meme. The Prompt was “Little!Diego meets his first love... that beautiful cup of bitter coffee.”


( Oh my gosh! I live. )

x-posted on gyakuten_saiban

Sometimes I think that if I was a man, things would be a whole lot easier.

At least, in the Drama department (drama as in theatre, but I guess it could go both ways).

( Always the bridesmaid, and never the bride )

Wow, I feel like Beethoven, only instead of talking myself out of suicide through a letter, I talked myself out of rage over a LJ. Good times.

Happy New Year to everyone! I promised that one of these days I would write in this LJ again, and, I hold myself to my words.

...I just don't know if there's still anyone around. In which case it's my own fault.

( Oh, we're getting fancy right here! )

One of these days... If I was a creature of habit, this might not be so hard.

...I really need to update.

December 2 resolution!

DO MORE THINGS ON LJ.

...I've said it a million times and I'll say it again. I need to.

...Oh, I do.

So, this summer, I had the pleasure of having what was pretty much my first real job. Now, normally, I've been content with babysitting, but when an old friend from Jr. High told me that she needed someone else to work with her at the Stampede, I was just unable to turn her down. Well, there was the possibility that she just might have blackmailed me if I didn't, but let's not get into such horrible things.

So, I found myself working at the Calgary Excebition and Stampede, billed as "The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth" and run 80% by child labourers (of which I was now one of them).

( I only wish I could be as witty as everyone else... )

So, that concludes the somewhat epic(?) tale of the first half of my summer.

Coming up next week (or not): Moving, or why I'm now living in what might as well be a mouldy old box.

Dear Myself and/or anyone that cares,

You see, there are many reasons I haven't blogged at all this year. Perhaps, the most obvious one that came to my mind was the simple excuse that I was lazy.

Srsly.

I mean, all year, all I really seemed to have done was sit around, laugh at myself, and just be an inactive little teenager. Plus, real life distracted me.

And... Nexopia, for being like MySpace, only worse... Happens to be a very addictive site.

It's like a bad kind of crack (if there's such a thing as a good kind, that is).

So, what does that mean about me and the future of this journal... Well... I'm going to actually and try to become a decent blogger.

...Or something.

That means, I'll probably start by actually posting fanfiction (oh noes) as well as something that I think I'm pretty good at: icons.

So, that's my master plan for the summer. I'll start.

...As soon as I finish work.

Love,

Kalan

I really need to get back to LJing.

...Stupid stupid stupid school/distractions.